


Phantom Pain

by Ultima_Matrixed



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Gen, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 22:01:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6168238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultima_Matrixed/pseuds/Ultima_Matrixed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After months of being in recovery traction, Yang begins to contemplate and face her demons. She also realizes that she cannot remain as she is forever. YangXBlake Bumbleby My first entry to AO3</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phantom Pain

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So in the start this was to be something entirely different from what it became. It ultimately became this because I couldn’t leave Yang worse off then when I started. It’s sort of a reflective piece as well. It means more to me then most things I have written.

_Phantom Pain: def: Phantom pain sensations are described as perceptions that an individual experiences relating to a limb or an organ that is not physically part of the body._

 

_“I’m sorry … I’m so sorry.”_

 

**“She just … ran”**

 

_“No… please…”_

 

**“I’m gonna lie here.”**

Yang’s eyes slowly opened as she was once again awakened by the maelstrom of thoughts that refused to relent. Always the thoughts would build and build until Yang was brought back to the same moment. It happened over and over again. Like a movie that Yang was forced to watch of the moment that she failed irrevocably. Clasping her eyes shut Yang flopped onto her left side and attempted to return to sleep.

 

The last few weeks had gone on like this. Despite having all the time in the world, Yang rotated between disbelief, betrayal and despair. Never in her wildest dreams or nightmares would Yang have suspected the ultimate result. The start had probably begun long before the Vytel festival and the end of it was nowhere in sight.

 

But such things didn’t concern Yang at the moment. All that mattered was Yang put what she had on the line when it counted and it wasn’t nearly enough. Failure and shame were now Yang’s constant companions. A sense of betrayal dogged Yang’s memories of Becon’s sacking and of Blake as well. Sleep didn’t come back easy and the din of uncomfortable feelings did not abate, even in sleep.

 

**“I don't want you to stop; I want you to slow down.”**

 

_“I don't have the luxury to slow down”_

 

**“No, _you_ don't understand!”**

 

_“I can stop him!”_

 

 

As the words echoed in Yang’s mind her eyes flung open. But this time she wasn’t in her bedroom, she was back at Beacon in the room she shared with the rest of her team. And what was more, she looked down to see the top of Blake’s head. The faunas peacefully slept cuddled into Yang’s chest. The former blushed at the closeness and the loneliness that she had felt for the last few months urged Yang on. And as she reached over with her right hand tears began to roll down her cheeks. The feeling of the moment that never happened as she gently traced between Blake’s soft ears with the hand that she no longer had seem twistingly fitting. Blake then stirred and looked up at Yang with sleepy eyes.

 

“Yang, what’s wrong?”

 

“This isn’t real.”

 

“What…”

 

“You’re not real and _this_ isn’t real either!”

 

Yang lifted her arm and its presence made her cry even more. As she sobbed she felt her hot tears wiped away. Her focus returned as she looked at Blake once more. The dream wasn’t real and the knowledge that the dream wasn’t real compounded with Yang’s desire for it to be.  

 

“Yang, I’m here because you want me to be. This might be a dream, but it only exists because you want it to.”

 

“I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to lose my arm and I didn’t want you to be hurt but most of all, _why did you leave?_ **_Why Blake? Why?_** ”

 

“You know I can’t answer that. I’m the Blake that exists in your heart. I am here for you but I’m just a figment. But I do know this. For me to be here, you must really want to see the real Blake. And, you must really care for her despite everything that’s happened.”

 

“I…I don’t know what I want. For the first time in my life I’m scared _and_ alone. No one else can help me and I lost in the worst way. I’m a failure and now you’re gone. This ‘place’ is a punishment. It’s to remind me of all the things I had and lost.”

 

“True, you could look at it that way. But if that were so then why are you grasping onto me so tightly? Yang, you’re stronger then this.”

 

“No, **_I’m not_**. _I couldn’t protect you_. I’ve always been able to rely on my strength. _But it still wasn’t enough to save you or to even save me._ ”

 

“Yang, what’s in the past is done. No matter how much time you spend wallowing in your failure, the fact that you failed and lost will never change. But it’s far from over. Your hope struggles to be free from your despair. But as long as you are afraid to let go of your pain, you can never be free.”

 

“ ** _But this is what I deserve!_** ”

 

“It’s not my place to decide that. _But it is your place_. Yang, go and find the real me. Tell me how you feel and show me what’s deepest inside you. I’m sure I’ll be happy. You need me Yang, as much as I need you.”

 

As the dream faded, Yang opened her eyes and looked out her window. The soft light from the dawn cascaded across her room. Yang slid out from under the covers and walked over to her window. As she touched the glass she smiled wistfully.

 

“I should practice what I preach. _Blake, I’m coming_.”  


End file.
